beed covered all (well, most of 'em anyway) of his idiosynchasies in his first blog. it was titled "lo siento, mi casa no es tu casa" beed covered his use of the third person. he covered the fact that he will sometimes use ebonics....por ejemplo (for example)..... axe for ask. he covered that he loves the spanish language and will be teaching it to u one word at a time.

beed didn't unnastand exactly how this blogging thing worked yet. now, that first post is way down at the bottom and will eventually be archived. beed figured that as more people read his daily dose of lunacy that perhaps some of them will be people unnacustomed to his strange habits so he made this link and copied and pasted the first post into it. everything below this paragraph is the first post. hope it helps you to unnastand why beed do what he do.

lo siento, mi casa no es tu casa

this is a first for dahbeed. his very own blogspot. dahbeed is definitely an idiot. how do we know this. well, first of all he always uses the third person to post. (what kind of nutcase does that?) and to cement his spot in the morons hall of fame....he nevah evah uses upper case.

some compare it to an e.e. cummings style and that may be somewhat true. but the real reason he uses no upper case is he hates to interrupt his flow with something as painful as the shift key....plus dahbeed has short pinkie fingers and that makes the shift key difficult to navigate at times.

there will be times that u will see dahbeed refer to himself as 'beed or beed. this practice developed because beed's hero of the cyberworld, a fool who calls himself txtop on a website called hilltopperhaven.com (the greatest sports message board evah created) first called dahbeed "beed". guess those dang dah's were taxin' him to type.

another irritating thing that beed does is he will often leave the g off of the end of a word and use a ' instead.....por ejemplo (for example) "don't be hatin' on beed, respect him". why does this idiota do this u axe? cuz beed is a southerner and we eat our g's. we don't use 'em. we say shit like "ah'm goin' fishin". we do not say "i am going fishing". we will leave that to u northerners.

beed has made many friends on hilltoppah haven (he is a veritable diety ovah there). and one of 'em is a lovely named big red chick. beed ain't nevah really met her so he cain't (southern for can't) speak on the veracity if she is big or red or even a chick. she could be some 450 pound hairy assed guy sittin' around in his skid-marked undies that poses on sports message boards as a female because all of the silverbacks come out beatin' their chests whenever a lady shows up and he needs the attention. credit for the silverback line goes to txtop. if beed plagiarizes sumpin' he will usually give credit where credit is due.

anyhoo, back to big red chick. she gave beed the url of a blog that her hermana (sistah) writes cuz she knew beed craved words like a crack ho' craves the pipe. it wuz really good work and some of her stuff even had beed laughin' out loud. beed saw the little orange icon on the bottom of her page and just for shits and giggles clicked on it. that is how this whole drama began.

u don't evah have to check back here again. beed would say that it would prolly be the smart thing to do as beed is a sick twisted individual and is prone to go on rants about any subject. his favorite subject tho' is people. not what they look like. not what they do. IT'S WHY IN THE HELL THEY DO THINGS that fascinates the beedster. what freakin' synapse just fired that made u think it was okay with beed for u to have your f'in bright lights on until beed hit u with his and then u turn yours off. do u think this world belongs to u assmunch and everyone else should be walking around half blind so YOU can see better driving at night. hell, beed would love to drive with his brights on all the f'in time but he unnastands that in a courteous society we dim our lights when we approach an oncoming vehicle.

sorry for that. that was one of those rants that beed warned u about. another warning, beed has a potty mouth. he will try to not drop any f' bombs on ya'll but he witholds all guarantees if he has been into the firewater and western (western kentucky university....God's little piece of paradise in bowling ball kentucky) loses a basketball game.

if u are bored....and who of us does not get bored at some point in time? then just come on back to beed's very own blogspot. if beed likes ya' he might fix ya' a cup of coffee and tell you to go ahead and put your feet up on the end table.....make yourself at home......hell, beed might even introduce you to his sister if he really likes you.beed will try not to waste your time. he promises not to tell you just how good he feels after takin' a really good dump (beed tells his co-workers after such an event...."damn, i feel good, i just delivered a baby down the hall"). wait, beed promised not to do it but in promising he wouldn't say it, he did in fact brag on the endorphins released after a good morning growler.

heyzues cristo on a popsicle stick. there is just no tellin' what this idiot will write next. beed will try to keep it interestin' and try to teach you guys spanish one palabra (word) at a time. you see, dahbeed just loves language. it fascinates him. he would not say he was fluent in spanish, but he would say you could drop him off in some central american tinhorn dictatorship and beed would be able to make his way home.....and not using some kind of primitive sign language coupled with car and plane sounds. he would use his boca (mouth) and would emit sounds that people in those countries would unnastand.please forgive beed for his next idiosynchrasy......beed is forever tortured with the fact that he may drop into ebonics at any moment. beed has very many african american friends. actually when he counts up his truly close friends, he has more a.a. friends than he has anglo saxon friends. we're not talking about acquaintances......whitey wins that by a big spot just cuz where beed lives is predominately an anglo saxon area. but if we are talkin' about a friend that you would call to come get you out of jail, or better yet who would be sittin' in jail with you, the bruthas win it going away.

bein' around so many a.a. friends, beed will sometimes pick up their speech patterns and misuse of grammar. beed ain't tryin' to legitimize ebonics as an official language like some yahoos tried to do out in cali a few years back. but it is definitely a street language and in heavy use. so if u see beed break into ebonics.....please spare him the hysteria and the politcal correctness and try to call him a racist. he ain't one.beed guesses this is quite enough palabras (words) for a first post. hope beed entertained u with at least one good line. if not......so solly.

sincerely,

baron von beedenstein.